By: Dr. Akosa McFadgion, MS, MSW (@drmcfadgion)
“…Send me your location, let’s focus on communicatin’, cause I just need the time and place to come through. Send me your location, lets ride the vibration, I don’t need nothing else but you…” -Khalid
Kings and Queens of the Mecca welcome to 2018!
So, I absolutely appreciate how sexy this young man asks for consent. Love it! His intentions are clear. First, he asks his desired partner for the location rather than asking their friends or stalking social media for location information. Secondly, he wants to hold a conversation. A conversation is the best way to get to know someone, talk consent, and then, thirdly, explore his insatiable craving to fulfill his appetite by meeting up with his desired partner. Now that’s an ‘Enthusiastic Yes’ unfolding at its best!
Unfortunately, too often we have sisters and brothers who don’t get the luxury to voluntarily reply with their location. Perpetrators of stalking take away the right to decide. Stalkers repeatedly call you, show up wherever you are, or threaten to hurt you. In honor of January as Stalking Awareness Month, here are a few thoughts to consider:
- Stalking is “a course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear”. Each of us determine our own threshold of fear. YOU get to decide what makes you afraid.
- Texting or posting sexually-charged pictures is not only inappropriate, it is nasty! If the person receiving the picture doesn’t like it, then it’s also STALKING. You forward the text or post, then it’s also PORNOGRAPHY. Both stalking and pornography are Title IX violations and a CRIME!
- If you feel unsafe, fearful of what the stalker will do, believe it. Share your concerns about unwanted contact with Campus Police at 202-806-1100.
For safety planning, contact the IVPP office: 202-836-1401