When Ivie Ihaza arrived at Howard University as a freshman, she quickly began hearing about the “Howard love story.” Through conversations online and on campus, she saw students describe Howard as a place where people could find not only community, but potentially a life partner.
For Ihaza, a junior honors finance major from Long Island, New York, the tradition felt more like a campus cliché than a personal expectation.
“I first heard about the whole Howard spouse or Howard love story freshman year when I got on campus,” Ihaza said. “Even on TikTok, I heard a lot of people talking about the Howard love story and how this is the place where you’ll find your partner.”
While some students view the tradition as a genuine possibility, others see it as a fun part of Howard’s culture rather than a guarantee.
“I’ve seen people who genuinely think they’re about to meet their husband while they’re here, and I’ve also seen people who just see it as something fun to play into,” Ihaza said.
For some students, however, the reality of dating at Howard has complicated those expectations.
Jayla Tigner, a sophomore film major from Lagrange, Georgia, said Howard’s dating culture did not always match the expectations she had before arriving on campus.
“My expectations were way higher than what the actual dating scene was,” Tigner said. “I didn’t realize the ratio of men to women was very low, and how can we find a Howard love story if there’s not enough men in the dating pool to begin with?”
Tigner said hookup culture has also shaped the way she views dating at Howard. She described a pattern where some students are open to casual encounters but less interested in building relationships.
“A lot of them don’t really want anything beyond a simple hookup,” Tigner said, describing the mindset she feels exists among students. “It’s like, we can hook up multiple times, but no, we’re not going on a date or we’re not going to the cafeteria.”
Carolette Norwood, Ph.D, a Howard sociology professor, said relationships are shaped by cultural identity, social environments and the communities people are part of.
“People’s understanding of relationships is especially shaped by cultural identity and geographic location, which often overlap,” Norwood said. “Geography informs culture, and culture helps define the norms, values and expectations that people bring to relationships.”
Norwood said Howard’s identity as an historically Black university (HBCU) can influence the way students form relationships because of the shared experiences that bring students together.
“At Howard, students often develop a heightened sense of identity as HBCU students,” Norwood said. “As a result, students often arrive open to building relationships with one another, with the understanding that these connections are an important part of who they are and who they will become.”
For Dr. Robert Singleton II, an anesthesiologist and 2011 Howard alumnus, the tradition became part of his own experience. Singleton met his wife, Crystal Singleton, while he was a third-year medical student and she was a second-year law student at Howard.
“I actually discovered her on a dating website and realized that our paths crossed on the campus and we had several friends in common,” Singleton said.
Singleton said being surrounded by ambitious students who shared similar experiences shaped his belief in the Howard love story tradition.
“It just makes sense being surrounded by so many like-minded, ambitious, intelligent people who share my same culture that I was bound to find my soulmate,” Singleton said.
However, other students believe a Howard love story comes less from the university itself and more from the individual connection between two people.
Nathanael Mapp, a junior finance major from Dallas, Texas, for example, doesn’t believe he found his significant other because of a campus tradition.
“When I first got to Howard, I honestly wasn’t looking for a girlfriend at all,” Mapp said. “I was focused on school and doing my own thing. Then I met an amazing woman, and before I knew it, I fell in love.”
Mapp said his experience shaped how he views relationships, but he does not see the tradition as something defined by Howard itself.
“I don’t really think there’s a Howard spouse and I don’t see it as part of the culture,” Mapp said. “I just think sometimes you meet someone who makes every day better and that’s what mattered to me.”
While students debate whether the Howard love story is a tradition, expectation or connection, Singleton believes its meaning extends beyond romance.
“It is very helpful as we face discrimination, bias, racism and systemic changes in our institutions to have someone who is like-minded and who can help us as we face these challenges,” Singleton said.
Copy edited by Jori Johnson